Don't litter

pwesident:

pwesident:

wheezinghorre:

pwesident:

sleeping under a blanket in just your underwear when it’s cold and your blanket is warm enough to make up for it is the best fucking thing

until the demon living under your bed rips it off and has full access to your body

and the demon is probably hot so she can do what she wants what’s your point

a lot more likes than reblogs on this post bc this webbed site is full of cowards that know im right

kohinoors:

powerfulwizard:

jmonkeyjmonkey:

jackmeatington:

powerfulwizard:

Remember that guy on vine that would climb around shirtless with flowers on his head, and he’d keep saying “my berries.” But then it turned out he was a CIA plant put on Vine to track down leftist activists who were active on the app?

i literally just found out about the “girl from ‘is this allowed’ vine was really making out with a mannequin” controversy and now this? this is ruinedchildhood for millennials.

i’m sorry my berries guy was what now

A nice young Italian man I guess. I made this up for notes.

image

roach-works:

mariaalenkoshepard:

a-kind-of-merry-war:

timemachinetyrant:

adhdconfusion:

Person: “What’s your favorite song?”

Me with no object permanence: “UhHhHhh, it’s hard to choose.”

Person: “So, what hobbies do you have?”

My mind: *goes blank*

Some guy: what’s your favourite film?

Me: I have never seen a film in my life

Someone: tell me something about yourself

Me: *sweating* who??

quantum physics demonstrates that certain things change state when directly observed. in my case, i change into a moron.

a-lil-strawberry:

hawkeyedflame:

found out today that the “no don’t [action] your so sexy aha” meme is, in fact, NOT well known outside of internet circles and you should not just Say That to an unsuspecting coworker

good to know. you took one for the team

cocodrilloturbo asked:

Change your last name u ain't even gay

paroxsys:

neil-gaiman:

I’ll get right on that.

this is the funniest post on this site. everyone go home. nothing is ever going to be better than actual neil gaiman, on tumblr dot com, answering this ask.